clitpunch

puyols-hairdresser:

when you’re doing school work and someone asks you what the answer is

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allabitofablur:

0-memento-mori-0:

glassbottledemon:

smartinis:

i remember until i was ten, i spelt ‘satin’ like ‘satan’ and i went to a christian school and they called my parents because i wrote ‘satan is soft like a bunny’ and they wanted the priest to talk to me

Satan is glad you appreciate the effort.

Satan uses Garnier Fructis to lock in moisture.

I JUST LOST MY SHIT

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All things begin and end as stories.

almost-always-eventually-right:

constantbullshitting:

oilauren:

"I looked at my hand and my little finger was gone – the bone was sticking out. It’s the weirdest feeling; one second you’re fine and your little finger is there, and the next second it’s gone. It shoves reality up your backside. I was in so much pain and shock that the first thing that hit my head was the beat and the bass. The bass was hard, so I just ripped off my top, wrapped it around my finger and tied it up as tight as I could and skanked it out for half an hour. My mentality was, ‘I’ve only been here for an hour, I’ve paid £10 for this night, I’ve lost my little finger – am I seriously going to go? Nah, I’m going to skank until I can’t skank any more.’ After that, my mate dragged me down to the paramedics."
Friends later told him that a “bunch of stoners found [his] little finger and were playing catch with it.”

now THAT’S what i call a party


he literally lost a finger

almost-always-eventually-right:

constantbullshitting:

oilauren:

"I looked at my hand and my little finger was gone – the bone was sticking out. It’s the weirdest feeling; one second you’re fine and your little finger is there, and the next second it’s gone. It shoves reality up your backside. I was in so much pain and shock that the first thing that hit my head was the beat and the bass. The bass was hard, so I just ripped off my top, wrapped it around my finger and tied it up as tight as I could and skanked it out for half an hour. My mentality was, ‘I’ve only been here for an hour, I’ve paid £10 for this night, I’ve lost my little finger – am I seriously going to go? Nah, I’m going to skank until I can’t skank any more.’ After that, my mate dragged me down to the paramedics."

Friends later told him that a “bunch of stoners found [his] little finger and were playing catch with it.”

now THAT’S what i call a party

he literally lost a finger

"MAH-ME!"

"MAH-ME!"

mermaidskey:

hemipelagicdredger:

mermaidskey:

mermaidskey:

oxidoreductase:

Lavoisier is having none of your shit.

Heeeey so fun fact: the woman in that painting is Lavoisier’s wife, Marie-Anne Pierrette Paulze, who not only acted as Lavoisier’s lab assistant but also translated English and Latin texts into French so he could read them. But she didn’t just translate, she pointed out errors in the chemistry in some of the texts. Her observations of these errors convinced Lavoisier to study combustion, which led to his discovery of oxygen. She was also critical to the publication of Lavoisier’s Elementary Treatise on Chemistry in 1789. She kept strict records of every experiment they conducted together and drew detailed diagrams of all their equipment. She also threw amazing parties and invited all the brightest minds in science so her husband could pick their brains. After Lavoisier was guillotined she secured all of his notebooks and equipment for posterity.
In short: NOBODY KICKS MADAME LAVOISIER OUT OF THE LAB.

Also, a side note: My historian husband-to-be pointed some things out to me about this painting. Notice that Madame Lavoisier is looking at the viewer, and all the light is on her, while Lavoisier himself is physically smaller than her, in shadow, and looking up to her in reverence. This isn’t a candid photograph- all of these choices are deliberate. The painting isn’t of Lavoisier- Madame Lavoisier is meant to be the central subject. 
I can just imagine Lavoisier telling all his colleagues that his wife is really the one with all the clever ideas, and them patting him on the back and telling him he’s sweet for saying so.

more like


I LOVE IT

mermaidskey:

hemipelagicdredger:

mermaidskey:

mermaidskey:

oxidoreductase:

Lavoisier is having none of your shit.

Heeeey so fun fact: the woman in that painting is Lavoisier’s wife, Marie-Anne Pierrette Paulze, who not only acted as Lavoisier’s lab assistant but also translated English and Latin texts into French so he could read them. But she didn’t just translate, she pointed out errors in the chemistry in some of the texts. Her observations of these errors convinced Lavoisier to study combustion, which led to his discovery of oxygen. She was also critical to the publication of Lavoisier’s Elementary Treatise on Chemistry in 1789. She kept strict records of every experiment they conducted together and drew detailed diagrams of all their equipment. She also threw amazing parties and invited all the brightest minds in science so her husband could pick their brains. After Lavoisier was guillotined she secured all of his notebooks and equipment for posterity.

In short: NOBODY KICKS MADAME LAVOISIER OUT OF THE LAB.

Also, a side note: My historian husband-to-be pointed some things out to me about this painting. Notice that Madame Lavoisier is looking at the viewer, and all the light is on her, while Lavoisier himself is physically smaller than her, in shadow, and looking up to her in reverence. This isn’t a candid photograph- all of these choices are deliberate. The painting isn’t of Lavoisier- Madame Lavoisier is meant to be the central subject. 

I can just imagine Lavoisier telling all his colleagues that his wife is really the one with all the clever ideas, and them patting him on the back and telling him he’s sweet for saying so.

more like

image

I LOVE IT

beanarie:

The self-awareness of this speech always blows me away. Neil is essentially saying, “Yes, I’m a good person. But I might not be if circumstances had been different.”

deepthroatmom:

this the rawest shit i ever seen in my life

deepthroatmom:

this the rawest shit i ever seen in my life

alt-j:

WIPs are fun

fiftyshadesofdebauchery:

kvotheunkvothe:

Animal fun fact: Chinchillas can’t get wet. Their fur retains too much water and will start to grow mold. So they bathe by rolling around in dust.

Chinchilla fun fact: Chinchillas have around 20 hairs per follicle; unlike humans who have 2-3 hairs per follicle. Because their fur is so dense, they cannot get fleas or other parasites. The bugs will suffocate in their fur.

Chinchilla fun fact: Petting one of those awesome little guys feels like touching a motherfucking cloud.

Chinchilla fun fact: Their newborn babies are like little pieces of fluffy popcorn. You could easily just toss a handful in your mouth.

Chinchilla fun fact: Don’t toss a handful into your mouth.

seacuties:

trynottodrown:

some tiny nudis

(sources: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10)

!!!!!!